Stupidity at its finest

As I reach the end of my month in the emergency room, and really my career as a medical student, I would like to reflect on some of the most interesting patients I've seen this month.

1. A 7 year old boy with a tooth stuck in his ear. Was he hiding it from the tooth fairy?
2. A 19 year old girl who injected protein shake into her butt cheeks. I guess she thought thats how J-lo got the junk in her trunk.
3. A grown man with a perfume bottle stuck in his rectum (butt). He told us he fell on it... why was he walking around without pants/underwear, and why didn't he break it when he landed on it?
4. A 19 year old girl with a foreign object stuck in her "privates." All we could see is a little plastic sticking out, and we couldn't pull it out. The xray showed a metal coil inside the plastic, inside her body. She says she didn't know what it was or how she got there... She had to have surgery to get it out, and it ended up being a spray bottle cap. Why???
5. A 21 year old girl with Type 1 diabetes who ran out of insulin, so she came to the emergency room and was being treated, but decided she was tired of being in the hospital, so she left... IV still stuck in her arm, no prescription for new insulin...wonder how long she lasted before she went back to an ER?

I know there are more, but those are the only ones I can think of for now. I wonder what kind of exciting geniuses I will be treating in Dallas??